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Massage
Novel by Henry Flesh
Reviewed by Lisa Ciccarello

As a sexual novel, Massage would do more to turn me away from sex than turn me on. Set in the early '90s, a time when AIDS is an inescapable part of homosexual life, this book focuses on Randy, a gay "masseuse" living in New York with his boyfriend/pimp, Jake. Randy is surrounded by a number of individuals affected by the lechery, disease, failing relationships, ageism, addiction and delusion, traits and afflictions that seem to be the basis of nearly all their lives. There is little to nothing uplifting about this book. The sadness of the characters plights are compounded by their ineffectual attempts to rectify or deal with them. Does such a steeping in negativity and despair adversely affect the reading? Not in the least. In fact, the sheer sickness this book encompasses may be one of its most engaging factors. The despondency proves as compelling as it is inescapable.

Traded at the age of ten by his abusive, alcoholic father to his father's homosexual pedophilic boss, Mr. Hewitt, for a promotion and monthly bonuses, Randy now gives hand jobs for money to clients his boyfriend finds for him. Much like those around him, he feels little and when something upsets him, he ignores it, assisted by alcohol, drugs or sex. Despite the rampant spread of AIDS and the risky nature of his job and lifestyle, Randy does not always have safe sex and refuses to be tested for HIV. Randy's sex life mirrors those around him. Sexual acts are hardly emotional or even sensual – when consensual it is often done in exchange for drugs or social status. Sex with his boyfriend ends with Jake rolling over and passing out or falling asleep immediately. In fact, the most involved sexual encounters occur with a client – Graham Mason – a famous writer with AIDS. Graham scares Randy at first, his commanding attitude slightly overwhelming, but this excites Randy in a way that most of his clients do not. Graham sees Randy repeatedly, and, as the relationship progresses, the sex becomes more intense and more dangerous, involving beatings and unprotected sex.

While the relationship between Randy and Graham includes more than just sex, it is never a loving relationship. Randy resembles Graham's dead lover, Dennis, and Graham uses the boy to recapture the past. Often drunk and high during their encounters, Graham refers to Randy as Dennis, speaking to Dennis through Randy during sex. As a result Randy becomes captivated with Dennis, dreams about him, feels his ghost enter him before sex with Graham. Randy starts wearing Dennis' clothes and studies pictures of him for insights into his life. And Randy reveres Graham because he was at his prime in the '60s and '70s, a time Randy considers the most glamorous and unfettered time to be alive. He listens to the stories Graham tells of a time before AIDS, where wildness had no consequence and everyone was free to do as they pleased, of book parties and art openings and life in London and Morocco. Although Randy admires Graham because he is the most famous person he has ever been with, his age and imposing demeanor remind him of first "lover" Mr. Hewitt. Randy notices that "in his more intense encounters with Graham, he had felt like a child – albeit a child totally unlike the one he had actually been." In this way, he is able to take control of the past, to act towards Graham in a way he could not with Hewitt.

Not surprisingly, Randy's past mars his present – his connections between love and sex are confused at best. Randy joins AA and recognizes that there is an emptiness in his life which no amount of sex or drugs is able to lessen. He is surrounded by fellow AA members who have found happy relationships now that they are clean. Even Haircut, the cocaine-addicted, full service masseuse who was known for his cheap prices and eagerness to do anything, finds a steady relationship. When Randy has the chance to be with someone who may love him, he finds that he cannot shake his past:

Just then Randy sensed the opening within him being filled, by that glow, much stronger than it had ever been. It was deep inside. He wanted to move closer to Garth, as close as possible, actually become him if he could, shake off his own skin forever.... He wanted to tell Garth that he loved him. Instead he asked, 'So why can't we fuck?'

Although he is younger than many of his fellow AA members, it seems that he can not detach himself from his former life or the mindset he acquired. This inability to change signals his future decline, making the ending no less dreadful but scarcely surprising.

Massage uses the reader's voyeuristic curiosity to draw him in further by revealing the sordid past of each character. Confessions come in the form of memoirs, speeches, and consoling stories, and the perversity each character contains astounds and enthralls. Flesh is aware of his tactic, and refers to it in the book. Graham asks Randy to bring him a sample of his writing, and Randy, not having written since he and Hewitt parted, writes a memoir of his time with Hewitt. Graham, upon reading about Randy's first meeting with Hewitt in which he is forced to give head, becomes immensely aroused and has sex with Randy. He asks him to bring more, and when Randy does not comply, becomes furious and has violent sex with him as punishment. When Randy later runs into Dakota and Denise, two of Graham's close friends, they immediately bring up his memoirs and joke about his ordeal. Graham's publisher urges Randy to finish his memoirs and get in touch with her because their abuse titles are selling quite well. The use of molestation and violation as emotional prompts to continue to read is both bizarre and effective. "We're all monsters," Graham says, and the desire not only to continue to read but also to recommend this book proves him right.

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If Lisa Ciccarello had been fucked like that when she was a kid, she wouldn't just shut up about it, but she probably would not take every opportunity to strip naked and beat herself bloody with a whip while screaming about how she still loved her abuser, either.