Some like it hot, some like it cold, and some people out there like it both ways. One day, they’re being smothered in kisses, roses and sonnets, the next day they get the big chill, the cold shoulder and the no show.
Suddenly, the lover who can’t live without you, can’t be bothered to take your calls.
It is this very kind of lover that drives a person mad — with desire. Call it the rat syndrome. When a rat in a maze is rewarded with food pellets at varied, unpredictable intervals, it will work harder than ever. Really harder.
In other words, the less secure we are about our honeys, the more deeply, the more insanely and pathetically we desire them. Consider Geena, a perky divorced thirty year old, who fell easily and unabashedly in love with Ian, a coworker. Why? Because Ian was totally into Geena — he laughed at her jokes, came by her desk every hour, brought her little treats and couldn’t seem to get enough of her. Geena took about two minutes to respond and reciprocate. For a few weeks, all was sunshine and smiles, and the two began the well-known ritual of mutual soul-baring and the inevitable heart-meshing.
Without warning, Ian began the Great Evasive Move. He began dodging Geena, avoiding her calls, rebuffing her attempts at conversation, and simply then did The Great Disappear. Ian was Unavailable. Geena was hurt, but decided to accept the fates and move on. Three weeks later, Ian was “Back in the Picture”.
Suddenly, he could not live without her. He begged her to forgive him. To give him another chance. Anything. So, of course, Geena could not resist.
It’s not only women who are on the receiving end either. Dr. Wilbur, a very affluent dermatologist, had just survived his third divorce when he met Melanie, a wild party girl, who happened to be terminally unemployed as well. She also drank and suffered from “mental issues”. But she fell with a bang for the doctor and turned over a new leaf. Soon she was cooking him seven-course dinners and giving him
foot massages while singing him love songs.
Dr. Wilbur was entranced, and so was Melanie . . . for a while.
But then she disappeared for months . . . without a word or a trace . . . and with Dr. Wilbur’s two-caret diamond on her finger. Just as the good doc was getting over her, she reappeared, remorseful and pleading for another chance. She now realized she loved him, and no one else. Did he take her back? What do you think?
Another victim with his shirttail caught in the revolving door of love.
What can a person caught in such a hot and cold whirlwind do? A wise man once said, “Three strikes and you’re out.” A wise rock and roller once said, “Once bitten, twice shy.” Guess it all depends on your tolerance for temperature extremes.
