pages The Versatility of Insects and Angst

by Brett Stout

Published in Issue No. 203 ~ April, 2014
Photo by Dagmar Hrickova (London, England)

Photo by Dagmar Hrickova (London, England)

I sit here night after night looking for something. I sit here night after night looking for someone. I sit here night after night looking for anything. I have a disease, a disease of loneliness and isolation. The grasp of winter depression and angst is here again. I procrastinate and make excuses. I feel more human than normal. I have their weakness for now, but hopefully not forever. I’m constantly disillusioned and paranoid. I want something but I don’t know what. Maybe there is light at the end of narrow tunnel, but the light has not been shown to me yet. Destroying myself has brought no answers and cured no illness. The hangovers, random numbers in my phone and empty bank accounts have brought no happiness and only temporary tattooed joy to my life. I don’t have any answers and I don’t know where to go from here or what to do. I will be sitting here night after night burning cigarettes and light bulbs until I do.

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Brett Stout is a 34-year-old writer and artist. He is a high school dropout and former construction worker turned college graduate and Paramedic. He writes while mainly hung-over on white lined paper in a small cramped apartment in Myrtle Beach, SC. He published his first novel of prose and poetry entitled "Lab Rat Manifesto" in 2007.