My three-year-old’s been neutered but he still has urges. He gets on top of my plush bear, sinks canines into the soft head, and drags the bear over the mattress bucking his hips. It’s somewhat lewd. It’s been happening daily and I pray he doesn’t do this in front of my girlfriend or parents. Still, I feel bad for him.
I call his lover Honey Bear. She looks like she’s been around the block. Sometimes I watch him dream—eyelids fluttering, whiskers quivering—and imagine he’s rolling on the bed with five fluffy children.