Don’t read books, they’re bad for you —
just go online, there’s more to do;
like, take a picture of your face
and fling it through the data base;
there are articles in your news feed
to disregard in record speed;
there are cartoon cities you can build
where no one ever needs to be skilled;
those classics bore us all to tears,
and where are the models in brassieres?
I see a lot of words below
but where does my snide comment go?
So where’s the pop-ups, where’s the ads,
the challenges and other fads?
There’s no place for my headphone jack —
my liter’ture needs a soundtrack;
let’s have it with a disco beat —
500 words, then hit delete.
Those books will put you right to sleep —
that binge-watching is way more deep;
who needs a book after it’s read —
let’s juice the power plant instead; (footnote #1)
the facts in books I don’t count on —
besides, they don’t have Amazon;
you might read thoughts that you don’t know —
let’s ask Steve Pruitt if they’re so. (footnote #2)
So click accept, illiterate —
hooray, attention deficit!
1. “[A]bout 5 percent of all energy consumption in the U.S. goes just to running computers.” — Scientific American, October 2018.
2. Pruitt is credited with editing or writing ‘1/3 of all Wikipedia articles,’ which possibly places his current literary (and ideological) influence even with Chairman Mao’s when the ‘Little Red Book’ was published.