Don't Read Books Wortley Clutterbuck Poetry

local_library Don’t Read Books

by Wortley Clutterbuck

Published in Issue No. 284 ~ January, 2021

Don’t read books, they’re bad for you —

just go online, there’s more to do;

like, take a picture of your face

and fling it through the data base;

there are articles in your news feed

to disregard in record speed;

there are cartoon cities you can build

where no one ever needs to be skilled;

those classics bore us all to tears,

and where are the models in brassieres?

I see a lot of words below

but where does my snide comment go?

So where’s the pop-ups, where’s the ads,

the challenges and other fads?

There’s no place for my headphone jack —

my liter’ture needs a soundtrack;

let’s have it with a disco beat —

500 words, then hit delete.

Those books will put you right to sleep —

that binge-watching is way more deep;

who needs a book after it’s read —

let’s juice the power plant instead; (footnote #1)

the facts in books I don’t count on —

besides, they don’t have Amazon;

you might read thoughts that you don’t know —

let’s ask Steve Pruitt if they’re so. (footnote #2)

So click accept, illiterate —

hooray, attention deficit!


1. “[A]bout 5 percent of all energy consumption in the U.S. goes just to running computers.” — Scientific American, October 2018.


2. Pruitt is credited with editing or writing ‘1/3 of all Wikipedia articles,’ which possibly places his current literary (and ideological) influence even with Chairman Mao’s when the ‘Little Red Book’ was published.

account_box More About

Wortley Clutterbuck, at approximately 300 years old, remembers the good olde days. His latest masterwork is the rococo rap opera Poèmes Déplorables, available gratis at Recent work at Chronogram (US), Litro (UK) and Quadrant (Australia).