I can’t believe I see her!

She’s there upon my wall

Where the paint’s a’peeling

And underneath it all!

It’s the Vegan Mary

In all her glory there!

Her image unmistaken,

I bow and kiss the air.

She’s clearly here to show me

The error of my ways

And to kick me in my meatballs

(Although I paraphrase).

It’s a sign from heaven–

At least the critter one–

No once-living creature

Belongs inside a bun.

I’ve gotta change my habits

And think before I bite,

It’s an epiphany!

It’s all so black and white.

To hell with all the sausage,

The pork roll and the ham.

To hell with all the sirloin,

The chicken and the spam.

Hail Mary! Please forgive me

For my former choice of chow.

I swear right here before you

I won’t chew another cow.

I’ll become a new man,

A full-fledged herbivore,

I’ll spread the meatless gospel

And open up my door

To other kindred souls

Who are welcome one and all

To behold the Vegan Mary

Upon my crummy wall.

Maybe I can charge them

A few bucks to get in?

I’ll tithe you ten percent,

So it cannot be a sin.

Even miracles

Come with a price today,

So if you’ll please excuse me,

I’ll start to earn my pay!