account_circle by Jeff Simonds
Jeff Simonds teaches writing in New York and Massachusetts, and he lives in Castleton, NY, with an ill-mannered cat. His short story collection, "You Are Not Allowed To Come Back After," was printed through Pinewood Books. You can find more of his writing on Amazon or by stealing his laptop.



Issue No. 259 ~ December, 2018

I don’t look in telescopes because what if I see something I’m not supposed to, like a UFO or a black hole or an incoming comet? I couldn’t enjoy the stars. I’d be too afraid look around because something could be out there ready to …


Issue No. 187 ~ December, 2012

My father was a great teacher of terrible lessons, and consequently couldn’t be trusted to teach me anything correctly. I discovered this in third grade when I found out they are not called “smashed potatoes.”


Pinhole In A Playing Card

Issue No. 250 ~ March, 2018

August 21st was the exact day I realized I was in an alternate universe. Not an exaggerated alternate universe, but a subtle and unnerving one. The most terrifying alternate universes will look like your world, but they will feel off, and you’ll never be able …


Four Days After Carrie Fisher Died

Issue No. 250 ~ March, 2018

  I am sitting at the table in a cheap hotel off Conz Street. There is football on the TV, but I do not know who’s playing. I have taken all the money out of our bank account and talked my way into a hotel …

Broken Houses

Issue No. 216 ~ May, 2015

The two of them moved here in October, and they'll be moving again before school starts, and we need to find that broken-down house soon because it'll be our last chance.