person_pin Essay Archives

Conversation: Morality and Mortality

Issue No. 262 ~ March, 2019

“Would you like a visitor?” “Sure. Can you help me sit up? I have never got the hang of these hospital beds. I am always dropping the remote.” “How did that get so far under the bed? Here, let me get that for you. Is …

Brunch, Not Brains

Issue No. 262 ~ March, 2019

It’s never dull at I-Hop. Waiting tables keeps me running. Their smothered pancakes curl my toes—yum! And the zombies tip well. When they first rose up, shoving aside their grassy blankets, we ran in terror. Echoes of horror movies, “Brains, brains!” filled our heads with …

Playing Sandy Duncan

Issue No. 262 ~ March, 2019

I was seven years old when it started with him, the thing he referred to as playing Sandy Duncan. He coined it when he found me sitting on a backyard swing, eating from a box of Wheat Thins. “Sandy Duncan endorses those things,” he said, …

The Shrimp King

Issue No. 261 ~ February, 2019

Karachi, Pakistan I bumped into my old college chum Minocher the other day at a coffee shop, and to celebrate the reunion after thirty-three years, we decided to meet the next day by having dinner at my place. When I went to pick him up …

Silence in the Morning

Issue No. 261 ~ February, 2019

This morning, their routine of rising and preparing for the day in silence hurts her and presses as though her soul has changed its mind and now wants something else.

#secondcivilwarletters

Issue No. 260 ~ January, 2019

Dear mom and dad,   The good news: Today I was promoted to Barrister, Second Class at the 134,567th Field Armored Starbucks. They gave me such a beautiful uniform: a tapered white shirt with a black bow tie, and black pants with the red stripes …

Sweetmeats & Rotgut

Issue No. 259 ~ December, 2018

“There are Sweetmeats which rot the eater; in man’s nostrils Poison’d perfumes.” -John Webster   1 It was an early July evening, a Friday, about twilight, a Texas night, where the stars look so close you want to pluck them like lilacs from the black …

Ouija

Issue No. 259 ~ December, 2018

I don’t look in telescopes because what if I see something I’m not supposed to, like a UFO or a black hole or an incoming comet? I couldn’t enjoy the stars. I’d be too afraid look around because something could be out there ready to …

Mr. Otter Tries Tinder

Issue No. 259 ~ December, 2018

  Mr. Cornelius Otter sat drinking beer with Mr. Wallace Beaver inside the River Bank Tavern. Otter lit a cigarette and shook his head. “Man,” he said to his friend. “I wish I had what you had.” “What, teeth that don’t stop growing?” Beaver shoveled …

Tungsten Steel

Issue No. 258 ~ November, 2018

Earlier in the fall, the white guy in maintenance with a lazy eye did me a good turn. On a Saturday morning, he knocked on my door on a routine inspection to see if everyone’s heat was working now that the boilers were on. He …